Parenting Tips
Children need support TOO!
Every parent wants the best for their child and each month we will offer a few tips on how to support your child with their learning. We all know that a parent is both the first and most enduring teacher in the life of any child. Working in partnership with your school will not only benefit children but it will also help you as a parent understand and engage more fully with the school and the community it serves. In short, working with your school ensures everyone wins! So, lets understand a few basic rules about parenting
Abuse, neglect, abandonment, violence and abduction ... these tragic realities are what many children live with. Sadly, violence and neglect towards children is nothing new ... it is deeply rooted in cultural and religious values. We must nurture our children ...it is one of the important things we can do. A parents' love and caring determines how a child grows up and how a child will eventually parent. Adults can help develop children's positive self-esteem by enabling them discover what they are good at doing. Part of a child's self esteem comes from feeling competent and skilled at something they enjoy. By creating opportunities for children to explore different objects, activities, and people ... and nurturing those interests, you can play a big role in helping children to be successful and feel good about themselves. Supporting children, building a loving and caring relationship is not always easy. But with effort, enthusiasm and patience it can be done.
Here are some ground rules
Treat each child according to their needs.
Every child needs parents who can understand and appreciate their qualities.
Help focus attention on the task [such as homework] in order to avoid distractions
If children want to interact at a time when you cannot be fully attentive, let them know and schedule a time for conversation and/or play when you can focus entirely on them. Children usually know when adults are only half-listening and can feel frustrated, unheard, and at times even unloved when this happens. Listening to children with your full attention helps strengthen their sense of importance and gives the message that you really want to hear what they are thinking and feeling.
Listen sensitively, avoid and avoid too much questioning, and describe the situation.
Children will usually shut down emotionally when parents bombard them with questions. They feel on the spot and pressured when adults probe and inquire too much about their day. Describing the situation is a neutral and non-intrusive approach that leaves room for children to respond in their own way.
Set limits that are appropriate to children's age, temperament and stage of development. When parents have limited time with their children, they may tend to let things go and not set reasonable and necessary limits. Children need to know that you their parent or caregiver have the interest, energy and authority to set appropriate standards for behavior and the skills to follow through.
Take care of yourself so that you have energy and enthusiasm available for your children. It can be hard to find a balance between meeting your children's needs and making time for yourselves. It is important for you to find appropriate outlets for your feelings of stress, responsibilities, etc., and you need some 'down' time to pursue your own interests or just to unwind. Most parents find that even a short break from children can make a positive difference in the way they feel. Parents need to fulfill themselves as parents, in their parenting roles, and also as individuals with interests outside the family. They need to go places on their own, and to do some things just for themselves. Then parents return to their children refreshed.
So ... when you're stressed:
Try to resolve situations before they escalate.
Take time out.
Call someone and tell them how you're feeling. Ask them over and stay with the kids for a while.
Count to 10 and think, "What do I really want to accomplish here?''
Hit a pillow to release your frustrations! Play music in order to help 'switch off.'
Remember how much you love your child and think about the best way to show that to them.
How parents can help with their children's homework
There are things you can do that will help your child do assigned homework and that result in learning, which, after all, is the reason for being in school!
Communicate with your child about school. This includes talking about their friends, activities, teachers, and assignments.
Show enthusiasm about school and homework.
Set realistic goals for your child, and then focus on one at a time.
Help your child get organized. Break down assignments into smaller, more manageable parts.
Set out needed items (clothes, homework, permission slips, etc.) the night before to avoid last-minute rushing around in the morning!
Provide a quiet study corner in your home complete with paper, markers, a ruler, pencils and a dictionary.
Never do your child's homework for them!
Check with your child's teacher about correcting homework.
Expect, and praise genuine progress and effort. An opinion: don't praise or otherwise reward your child for doing what you and he know is expected. This practice leads you down a slippery slope, often with really bad consequences for you and your child.
Be specific when you do praise something.
Focus on your child's strengths in school.
Build associations between what is taught and what your child already knows and understands.
Incorporate concrete materials and examples whenever possible, especially with younger children.
Try to help your child learn about the subject in more than one way, using as many senses as possible.
Separate your child's school weaknesses from your child. If your child fails a test, that is all the child fails. He or she is not a failure. In fact, there is no such thing as failure only feedback which helps them to do better next time!
Behaviour and Discipline
Discipline is a necessary part of both home and school life. Different parents will have different ways of ensuring their child behaves well - what works for one child may not work for another.
Why not speak to your Parent Support Adviser to glean ideas, advice and information from other parents and carers who have experienced - or are experiencing - the same issues as you.
Discipline at your school is based on an agreement between the school and parents about what the expected behaviour of children should be. Through your PSA you'll find information about how school deals with issues such as bullying, drugs and alcohol, truancy and disruptive behaviour.
So ... talk to your PSA! You will find out information on what your rights and responsibilities are as a parent or carer, exclusions, parenting contracts, parenting orders and penalty notices.
Internet Safety Tips
- Know what your children are doing online and who they are talking to. Ask them to teach you to use any applications you have never used.
- Help your children to understand that they should never give out personal details to online friends - personal information includes their messenger ID, email address, mobile number and any pictures of themselves, their family or friends - if your child publishes a picture or video online - anyone can change it or share it.
- If your child receives spam / junk email & texts, remind them never to believe them, reply to them or use them.
- It's not a good idea for your child to open files that are from people they don't know. They won't know what they contain - it could be a virus, or worse - an inappropriate image or film.
- Help your child to understand that some people lie online and that therefore it's better to keep online mates online. They should never meet up with any strangers without an adult they trust.
- Always keep communication open for a child to know that it's never too late to tell someone if something makes them feel uncomfortable.
- Teach young people how to block someone online and report them if they feel uncomfortable.
- There are people who can help. Report online child abuse, or for more advice and support.
Teaching Values To Our Children
As parents, we want our children to be honest, decent, caring individuals. Simply hoping our children will naturally acquire these skills is not enough. They must see what it means to be honest, courteous and generous. Afterall, children learn what they live.
You are the best person in your child's life to teach values and model positive behaviour. Here are a few everyday situations that provide opportunities to shape your child's character.
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Household tasks - If you ask your child to perform certain household duties such as taking out the rubbish or cleaning his or her bedroom, first show your child how to do it and clearly explain your expectations. When children know how to complete a task and take care of their personal belongings, they learn what it means to act responsibly.
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Homework each night - Study time at home should be part of your child's weekly routine. Set clear expectations for completing homework - assignments must be done before watching TV or playing a game! When children do what they are supposed to do, even when they don't feel like doing it, they develop character.
- Meal time - Sitting around the dining table should involve much more than breaking bread. Whether you're reminiscing about your own youth or your child is discussing the events of the day, family "table talk" is for sharing and relationship building. You'll be surprised at how many of the stories serve as metaphors about values, discipline and character. Point those lessons out to your children so they can relate true-life events to those abstract ideals.
As you see, the everyday moments of life offer opportunities for us to teach our children positive values. However, all the teaching in the world can be undone if our kids watch us behave in ways that contradict everything we've said. If you want your children to learn honesty and sincerity, then be truthful and act kindly. because YOU are the first and most important teacher to YOUR child!
And finally, a reminder to ALL Parents ... Keep your children safe, no matter what!
The best way to keep children safe is to keep them from getting hurt in the first place. Many parents who do cause harm to their children don't mean to do it. If a parent was neglected or abused as a child then it may be that much harder to change to a more constructive behaviour with their own children. There is an abundance of support and information available in Walsall to help parents accomplish raising healthy and safe children. There are many ways to successfully manage a child's behavior. When adults learn to rely on constructive, non-hurtful parenting, both parent and child feel better about themselves. Parents matter and positive parenting approaches help the whole family to thrive. These approaches can be seen in other aspects of their lives as well. Parents even do better at work and their children are more successful in school. So you see ...
Parents really do Matter!
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